How's My Driving | July 2013

[ironwood]

Three months have already passed since the last HMD? You betcha! This means that it's time to kick off the fourth quarterly gamewide HMD here in Tu Shanshu! Things are getting structured a little differently this time, so read on for details.

How's My Driving?
While each and every character must have an HMD page available, we offer a gamewide HMD once every calendar quarter. This is an opportunity to get together and discuss IC interpretations and portrayals in a respectful, beneficial fashion. In a nutshell, it's a chance to see how we're doing in the grand scheme of things.

There are a few ground rules to cover off before we can start:

• Participation in the quarterly HMD is 100% optional.
  
• Be respectful, anon or not. It's a lot easier to give and receive crit if all parties are making it a discussion of it rather than an argument.
  
• IP logging is off and anonymous commenting is on. You can offer crit signed-in if you like, but the option's there.
  
• New! We ask that each concrit provided consist of one positive and one constructive bit of feedback. Bring up something that you like about that player, and in the same comment provide something that you feel they could work on. This is to help round out the feedback and provide a better experience all around.
  

That's it, that's all!

And, to make things easier, here's a handy-dandy codeset:

<big><b><i>Player Name</i></b></big> <i>Character Name:</i> <i>Canon:</i> <i>User Name:</i> <I>Focus:</i> Optional. Do you have particular concerns about your portrayal that you'd like to be the focus of crit? You can link any threads you'd like a second opinion on here. If you're looking for structural feedback, or would prefer things like grammar not be mentioned, put it here.

Comments

[dustonmyfeet]

K
Character Name: Toph Bei Fong
Canon: Avatar: The Last Airbender
User Name: dustonmyfeet
Focus: Nothing in particular I guess, but I always want to make sure her voice is coming across strongly. She's a new muse, and I'm loving exploring with her, but being very careful to have her actions and voice sound Toph-like.

Character Name: Amelia wil Tesla Saillune
Canon: Slayers
User Name: willofjustice
Focus: I'm really struggling with Amelia right now. She's a pretty old muse, and last time I had to let her go, it was due to burnout. In previous games, she evolved so much from canon baseline that it's surprisingly challenging to nail her voice back to that point. I'd be curious to know how she's sounding and would particularly appreciate ideas on how I could better get her involved . . . most things I've tried so far have petered out or failed utterly, and the combination of voice problems and difficult involvement worries me.

Chiqui | Marius Pontmercy and Leo Valdez

[saisamour]

Chiqui
Character Name: Marius Pontmercy
Canon: Les Miserables
User Name: saisamour
Focus: Mainly how I've been handling Marius since the disappearance of Cosette. Whether he's too out and about, or too little of him in action? It's admittedly been difficult to gauge what his next actions would be aside from COSETTE IS GONE MY LIFE IS WORTH NOTHING so feedback on where I've been taking him so far is much appreciated. :3

Character Name: Leo Valdez
Canon: Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus
User Name: fotia
Focus: LOL idk

And in general, any feedback on my activity or writing or ooc behavior whatever else you have in mind? :3

Re: Chiqui | Marius Pontmercy and Leo Valdez

[dracobin]

I don't know PJO at all so don't have much to say about Leo (although I love Temrer's CR with him so \o/), but MARIUUSUUU

Honestly, I think you're doing a great job with him! His reaction to Cosette's disappearance is definitely in-character for a guy whose response to hearing Cosette was moving to England was to head to the nearest barricade, and I love that you write his awkwardness and introversion in a way that makes him really interesting to read.

As far as crit is concerned, I guess giving him something to do that he can really care about would be a good way to transition him out of mourning for Cosette? Even accidentally--I mean, this is also the guy who headed to the barricades to die but ended up getting really into it, haha. He probably needs to find something to do that will hold his interest long enough to draw it away from Cosette's Not Being There, and after that--we'll see!

[urbanmagic]

Reine
Character Name: Traci Thirteen
Canon: DC Comics
User Name: urbanmagic
Focus: Am I making Traci too friendly? Too flighty? Too anything? I admit to being worried about her either knowing too little or too much about things, (Too little of the superhero community and too much about other stuff to be specific) Is her voice off, etc? Comics is kind of weird to me since Traci is supposedly Asian with a British accent but apparently her personality is more forged by America so yeah, she's a weird one for me and I'd love all the help I can get.

I'm currently on hiatus, but despite that I am aware of my tendency to have fluctuating activity levels. (Some weeks I am in the mood, then some weeks I disappear entirely) This is mostly because of constant RL burnout, so no need to point that out.

[loveandloyalty]

Nekky
Character Name: Arthur Curry
Canon: DC Comics
User Name: relentlesstide
Focus: I had some OOC issues around the beginning of the month/end of last month, and I know I flaked out with Arthur a lot. Said issues kind of dropped my motivation to tag with him to 0 and drove my anxiety up, but I'm trying to get over that and get back on ball.

Character Name: Bucky Barnes
Canon: Marvel 616
User Name: beganwithamask
Focus: I'm generally pretty comfortable with Bucky so I don't think I really have much of a focus with him, but if you think there's anything I'm off on, please do let me know!

Character Name: Renly Baratheon
Canon: A Song of Ice and Fire
User Name: loveandloyalty
Focus: Still settling into his voice, whoops. This is the first time I've played a character experiencing this much "what is technology and indoor plumbing" culture shock and I'm also still reviewing and working on speech patterns. That said, any specifics that I should work on are welcome! He hasn't been super out and about yet because it's been an adjustment, but that should change.

Kate → Costigan, Johnny Storm, Hayley Stark

[faceofthe4]

Kate
Character Name: Billy Costigan
Canon: The Departed
User Name: lostundercover
Focus: PLEASE CRIT ME.

Character Name: Johnny Storm
Canon: Fantastic Four (MCU)
User Name: faceofthe4
Focus: I know I need to add more introspection/motivation to him.

Character Name: Hayley Stark
Canon: Hard Candy
User Name: everylittlegirl
Focus: PLEASE CRIT ME. I'm worried about the balance in expressing her introspection/motivation. I try to reveal things like that she might be lying or might see similarities, but generally don't mention that she wants to murder them or that she's completely playing them or the like because I worry that such unpleasant ooc commentary can reduce the quality of an ic interaction. Any feedback on that would be particularly appreciated.

[angermanaging]

I know when I played Brian, I didn't mention it ordinarily at all, but I would slide it into his narrative smoothly when I did. He's kind of a blase` character when it comes to his murderous tendencies, though, so idk how that'd work for Hayley? But I found it pretty effective to wait for a more pivotal moment and then just toss it in there cavalierly like it was nothing out of the ordinary. They're both supposed to be "human" monsters and I find that creates the effect much better than trying to create a dramatic reveal about it. And I did find that other players loved getting these hints of creepiness.

People tend to like creeps in fiction, so I wouldn't be concerned about reducing the quality of IC interaction, though I appreciate where you're coming from with that because it is slightly nerve-wracking.

Just my two cents, though. And idk how constructive that really is, given how vague I termed it. lol

[wallcrawler]

Saint
Character Name: Peter Parker / Spider-Man
Canon: Spectacular Spider-Man (Animated)
User Name: wallcrawler
Focus: Any and all, though any input on whether or not I'm doing a good enough job keeping Spidey's voice distinct from Livewire's would be a plus. Since they both get kind of snarky and informal.

Character Name: Livewire
Canon: Superman: The Animated Series
User Name: shockjock
Focus: See above! Also, definitely hoping for more crit with her, since I'm still fairly rusty with her.

[jirk]

This is just a general observation from the time we've played, but I notice you tend to target a very specific type of CR with Peter in particular, aimed at teenaged girls? It always has a slight current of ship-pushing, even if you're careful about it, but I've noticed a tendency to come into completely unrelated conversations (on plurk or what-have-you) to bring up teenaged girl characters that Peter has CR with or that you've expressed an interest in him having CR with, and I think it's potentially making people uncomfortable, especially since I've noticed you have a tendency to drop threads with characters who don't fit that demographic, which can lead people to think you're really only after that specific sort of CR. Just something to be cognizant of, maybe?

I've also noticed that your replies don't tend to be very dynamic, or give people a lot to reply to. I'm not sure if this is a time constraint issue on your end, or a matter of you not being particularly invested in certain threads, but I do think you might find your threads end up a little more fulfilling if you conveyed the thought or consideration you put into writing them - maybe include body language if it's a succinct verbal reply, just so people have the cues there to reply to. I know that the thought is there, because your characters are always really well fleshed out, but it can sometimes be harder for other people to recognize or see.

That said, I really enjoy Livewire's diction and how she presents herself. I feel like you've got a good grasp on her motivations and I love the fact that she's basically got Jim half-convinced she's a more sympathetic figure than Superman.

Chel

[angermanaging]

Chel
Character Name: Bruce Banner
Canon: MCU
User Name: angermanaging | Anon-enabled HMD
Focus: I did receive some very helpful input recently to the effect of not overanalyzing so much, and have been attempting to work on that. Otherwise, I'm really always interested in hearing how I'm doing with him! Sometimes playing a character for too long gets you overly comfortable with them and you sort of lose focus on the original characterization, and I don't want that to happen.

Character Name: Raimei Shimizu
Canon: Nabari no Ou
User Name: anomia | Anon-enabled HMD
Focus: Most of the game is canon blind so I'd ESPECIALLY love characterization or voice input from those that do know it. But canon blind people are very welcome to talk about how I'm doing with her more generally as well. She's super new and an unusual character type for me.

[lostundercover]

♥: I really love the many nuances and layers that you play Bruce with. He's a complete character and that's impressive. Your writing is fantastic in general and I really enjoy all of Bruce's introspection. Raimei is a great divergence from Bruce and is just really fun. She definitely has a distinct personality. Her voice is definitely different from Bruce's, though I don't feel that I've threaded with her enough to call it distinct yet.

°: STOP THINKING SO MUCH IN BED. We had this chat on plurk already.

[imaginate]

Zee
Character Name: Kyle Rayner
Canon: DCU
User Name: imaginate
Focus: I have an anon-enabled HMD on my journal if that's a preferred venue, but otherwise, the floor is open.

[lostundercover]

♥: Your writing is wonderful and you're a delight to play with.

°: Sometimes I worry that you have so much CR with Kyle that you might have a hard time keeping up with all of it.

[kvarterskommissarie]

Rica
Character Name: Johan Gustav Dååhd
Canon: Anno 1790
User Name: kvarterskommissarie
Focus: Any and all crit is more than welcome! How's my tagging speed? Do I branch out enough? Am I describing Johan well enough for those (most if not all of you) unfamiliar with his canon? Do I give enough to go on in the tags or could I work harder on leaving hooks?

[subject223]

Brandy
Character Name: Steve Rogers
Canon: Marvel 616
User Name: subject223
Focus: Open to any and all crit!

Character Name: Justin Hammer
Canon: MCU
User Name: hammer
Focus: Open to any and all crit!

[lostundercover]

♥: Everything forever. I really appreciate your willingness to jump into things and our limited CR has been fun so far.

°: I just want to see more of your guys in bed. No real legit crit here.

Marie || Bart Allen

[backinakidflash]

Marie
Character Name: Bart Allen
Canon: DC Comics (pre-boot)
User Name: backinakidflash
Focus: I've been deliberately using a fractured writing style for Bart's speech, chopping participial phrases off of sentences with periods and trying to avoid compound sentences when possible. I do know that it's not grammatically correct, but I'm hoping it gives everything a rushed feel. Additionally, I tend to tag on my iPhone so sometimes a tag unfortunately gets an autocorrect or is missing an html tag. I am trying to work on this.

Karin | Lord Henry and Una

[epigrammatical]

Karin

Character Name: Lord Henry Wotton
Canon: Picture / Confessions of Dorian Gray
User Name: epigrammatical

Character Name: Una Persson
Canon: Michael Moorcock Multiverse
User Name: una_persson

Focus: My concerns are not so much character-specific as just kind of a general RP flailing/malaise. I feel like I've been struggling with my threads and that my tags are stagnating, and as a result I've been getting very anxious about interacting with people and developing more relationships. I feel like tagging in to anyone else is imposing on them, and I feel like I'm boring people. This hasn't got anything to do with anything anyone has said or done; just a creeping sense of my own inadequacy. I want to build more stuff for my characters, but I can't work up the nerve to do it.

ETA: to echo something I said on plurk: I'm hoping some crit will help so I have a better sense of whether this anxiety is justified or in any way fact-based, or whether I'm just flagellating myself, as is my wont.

Bride of ETA: said plurk discussion also engendered the idea that maybe I need to do more activep plotting rather than just letting things happen to my characters. So any thoughts along those lines too would be helpful.

ETA Meets Abbott and Costello: Here's the plurk discussion; feel free to jump in there. And both Una and Harry have anon-enabled HMD posts on their journals.

[lostundercover]

♥: You know I adore writing with you. You have a gift for word choice and construction of description and ideas that is extremely rare and a delight to interact with. You are always open to plotting. I haven't threaded with Henry as much, but I know that Una is an extremely realistic and nuanced character to the point of being a fully fleshed out person. I believe that your inadequacies are primarily a result of overthinking things and that you are a far better player (not writer, but player) than you give yourself credit for. Because I know you know you're a good writer.

°: As has been suggested, I would consider trying to be more proactive in your plotting. Waiting for things to come to you is awesome when you're busy, but eventually it always stagnates and then it's important to put in the work (and it is work sometimes). Another thing that might help, to steal a page from Chel's playbook, is putting your characters in situations that are uncomfortable for them, to really explore more of their depths (which I know you love) and to encourage new CR.

Costigan+Mal=4lyfe♥

Lari | Javert

[inseine]

Lari
Character Name: Javert
Canon: Les Misérables
User Name: inseine
Focus: I don't have a specific focus, but any general tips or critiques would be great. I know I have been really busy IRL lately, so it has been difficult to respond to absolutely everything I want to in a timely fashion. In fact, if anyone has any tips for juggling IRL and "RP-time" more effectively so I can achieve a good balance, I'd take that, too! THANKS!

[angermanaging]

One tip for juggling time with RP that I've taken to doing is setting myself a minimum amount of time spent on tags for the day. Trying to do a minimum number of tags can be daunting (at least, for me, given the amount of prose logs I tend to get into), so time is a more approachable goal. I typically pick something I would consider very low for me, maybe an hour, and I just sit down and shut everything else and do one solid hour of nothing but tagging. As long as I achieve my hour, that's all I needed to do, regardless of "amount" done.

idk if that would work for you but I thought I'd toss it out there since I've been thinking about that lately myself. XD

[andaway]

Player Name Al
Character Name: Clark Kent / Superman / Kal-El / The Man Of 1000 Aliases
Canon: DC Comics
User Name: andaway | In-journal HMD < Anon on, IP tracking off
Focus: I have gotten bit of crit about how he should be more visible in game, so any crit and advice on that would be awesome! I'm also forever worried he doesn't sound American enough /how do I USA

Character Name: Frank Zhang
Canon: PJ:HoO
User Name: iguanasolution | In-journal HMD < Anon on, IP tracking off
Focus: I had never played Frank in-game before so any crit at all is welcome with him, thanks!

[lostundercover]

♥: Perhaps it's because of our existing CR, but I feel that you generally do a good job of getting Clark out there. You're one who tends to make a lot of open posts with information that most people can respond to, which is one of the things I love most when trying to build new CR with someone. Also, I had no idea you weren't American until you mentioned living in Spain; your English and slang, etc, are all great in my experience!

°: As mentioned on plurk, just trying to clarify Clark vs Superman.

Swearing and obscenities encouraged. >:D

[alphatar]

Sker
Character Name: Korra
Canon: Legend of Korra
User Name: alphatar
Focus: ALL OF IT.

[angermanaging]

I do have one piece of crit for you! No obscenities, though! lol.

I absolutely love the level of enthusiasm you bring to Korra-- it's perfectly appropriate for her-- but I feel as if sometimes you'd be better served to keep a more conversational flow to your tags. I seem to see you responding methodically point by point to everything that's said, when in real conversation there's a constant sort of ignoring of things that are found uninteresting or immaterial. Essentially, I'd encourage you to try to make your tags more streamlined and cohesive in purpose as opposed to addressing everything said. Not necessarily shorter, but narrower in focus?

The grain of salt here is that I haven't threaded with you very much, this is just what I've seen from stalking. But uh... yeah, that's my two cents!

[unetrustworthy]

Hina

Character Name: Midii Une
Canon: Gundam Wing: Episode Zero
User Name: unetrustworthy

Character Name: Zatanna Zatara
Canon: Young Justice
User Name: backwordscompatible

Focus: Any general oversight or things you've seen that I might not've caught, mostly. I've been playing Zatanna for over 2 1/2 years now, and Midii for well over 3, so I've fallen into a rather deceptively comfortable place of zen regarding their voices and character interpretations...but one can always learn more from a fresh perspective. Particularly for Midii, as she is brand new to the game as well as a character with limited canon open to a wide range of possibilities and headcanon.

I can also say that I received very good advice recently regarding my tagging speeds, and will definitely try to figure out a way to work on that. In addition, adding 'hooks" to some of my initial tag replies is another thing that will be taken to heart. Especially when I branch out beyond close CR, as I try to occasionally do.

[shorttempered]

Kaitie
Character Name: Mark Grayson
Canon: Invincible
User Name: shorttempered
Focus: I'm open to anything. Please let me know if I'm missing a vital part of his character or I take too long to tag back. Anything that can help me improve as a player.

Character Name: John Colby
Canon: Chew
User Name: fdaterminator
Focus: Same as above. I know he's a brand new character, but if you have anything I'd love to hear it.

Lae | Charles Xavier

[excessivehubris]

Lae
Character Name: Charles Xavier
Canon: X-Men First Class
User Name: excessivehubris
Focus: Still working to get Charles focused on what his direction will be while on the turtle. So much to do! A lot of my original plans were placed on hold for the current event so it is still a work in progress.

Chris | Bean and Miles Morales

[justlittle]

Chris
Character Name: Bean
Canon: Enderverse
User Name: justlittle
Focus: N/A

Character Name: Miles Morales
Canon: Marvel Ultimate
User Name: spiderkid
Focus: Still trying to get him involved in things.

[jirk]

I really enjoy your characters. You do quiet intensity really well, and I feel like you put a lot of thought into what they do in game.

Crit-wise, I'd like to maybe see you a bit more willing to compromise, especially in regards to Bean? I know he's a Super Uber Genius, but I feel like maybe he's coming to conclusions about other characters sometimes that edge into the territory of infomodding (just ftr, this isn't about any of my characters, it's just something I've casually observed across other threads so feel free to correct me, I might be totally off base) Tushan is a game full of Super Genius type characters, so I can see where it might be frustrating for other characters to be perpetually shown up by a kid, even if it's technically IC for Bean.

That said, it's totally possible I'm missing an element of OOC communication or pre-arranged CR here, this is honestly kind of a shot in the dark and really the only element I can really think of to crit.

[traumatizing]

Frank
Character Name: Terrance Ward
Canon: Marvel 616
User Name: traumatizing
Focus: As always, I'm concerned with his voice. In canon there's the two issues of a) you never see how he is socially so I have no way to know how he actually talks to people and, b) he has a complete personality change after he becomes a therapist and so I'm trying to pair the two ways he acts at different points. UM. I know not a lot of people have read Initiative, so I guess my query is about consistency?

On a related note, I'm worried he's been too emopants about everything? I'm trying to find a balance so I'm not shoving that at everyone?

Finally, anyone who has me on plurk is probably aware I have quite a hectic schedule, so I was wondering if anyone else whose lives are busy/unpredictable have any tips for keeping on top of everything?

[jirk]

I really love Terry and I feel like you're an absolute joy to thread against. You really dig into the meat of his characterization to justify his thoughts/motives and I love that, it's amazing to see. I think you're a really phenomenal writer and I always love having your tags hit my inbox!

Really, my one concern is that you have a tendency to promise threads or posts that either don't happen, or happen a month later when the scenario/situation may no longer be applicable. I know this comes back to your schedule, but maybe try not to commit yourself to certain tags or posts, just write them naturally when or as they come? That way you can stay up to date and current without worrying about maybe having to backdate something to a few weeks ago, and it also cuts out some of the guilt and/or feelings of being obligated or locked in to specific scenarios you may no longer have the time or energy for.

Jen | Iorveth, Roy Harper, AltLincoln Lee

[aenseidhe]

Jen
Character Name: Iorveth
Canon: the Witcher
User Name: aenseidhe
Focus: Uuuuuh just that having his overwhelming paranoia cockblock people from getting involved in malicant investigation, but people are still getting info on their own and i've also worked with anyone who asked to be in it, so on the flip side, i'm worried i'm not making him paranoid enough :'D because he has told a lot of people. so idek. hurgh.

Character Name: Roy Harper
Canon: DCnU
User Name: stagethreeclinger
Focus: idk that he's just obnoxious? which i'm sure he is because that's ic 8| but overly obnoxious

Character Name: AltLincoln Lee
Canon: Fringe
User Name: coneofsilence
Focus: just that his tags are boring. he was pretty gettin down to business minded in his intro so i think that may have been really boring fhdsjka idk

[lostundercover]

♥: Okay, we both know I'm completely biased, but I think your Lincoln is fantastic. I, personally, felt his intro was completely in character and I didn't find it boring at all. I was actually a little impressed with how well you handled apping a new character during such a major plot/event.

°: ... I don't think I've threaded with you enough to have crit to give yet? I'm sorry.

[raptorcanaria]

IB
Character Name: Dinah Lance
Canon: DCU
User Name: raptorcanaria
Focus: Well, I've been playing Dinah for a while, but not from this particular canon point, so I'm a little worried I'm playing her too much as I think Dinah should be and less like she actually is? Like - the whole mother-hen thing might be me projecting or mixing up too much of her YJ character rather than comics? IDK.

Character Name: Phantom Miria
Canon: Claymore
User Name: saved7
Focus: I'm really uncertain with her voice, here. Claymores are hard! Especially so far out of context. I'd love to hear from people who know canon, here. Is she sharing too much too quickly with strangers? Is it OOC for her to be holding back at all if she's not protecting her comrades?
I've been playing Teresa for a while in another game, and I'm worried that her voice is crossing too much over into Miria's in terms of what she shares and what she doesn't about herself. And every time I write 'Miria gives a faint smile' I make myself delete it.
Canonblind people - Is Miria actually interesting to you?


Adding a general note - I'm not just new to this game but to this whole format of RP: I've been happily isolated in one game for many years and this is me branching out outside my comfort zone. If there's anything I'm blatantly not getting, please let me know!

[lostundercover]

♥: Unfortunately, I'm canon blind with Dinah, but she definitely has a distinct voice, etc. In our extremely limited interactions, I've been having fun (with Johnny/Dinah) and haven't noticed any format issues or anything at all. You seem to have the style/format down.

°: I don't feel that we've threaded enough for me to offer any crit. Sorry!

[sophos]

Player Name Tomato
Character Name: Annabeth Chase
Canon: Heroes of Olympus
User Name: sophos | journal hmd
Focus: idk idk anything

Character Name: Peggy Carter
Canon: MCU
User Name: shootingshields | journal hmd
Focus: I was struggling in terms of activity for a while, but June was much better, and hopefully that will continue!! My goal is still getting her out more, despite that. But otherwise, anything c:

[badge_177]

Player Name Orlando
Character Name: Sam Vimes
Canon: Discworld
User Name: badge_177
Focus: I just got here, so...anything?!

[parallels]

Ru
Character Name: Clara Oswald
Canon: Doctor Who
User Name: parallels
Focus: Lots of voice/characterization concerns. Clara has a very difficult voice to pin down, it's not particularly distinct and is in very much danger of sounding flat when Clara is supposed to be sharp and wry. I've also been super flaky with my new job and I'm really sorry for that :(