How's My Driving | October 2013

[ironwood]

Three months have already passed since the last HMD? You betcha! This means that it's time to kick off the next quarterly gamewide HMD here in Tu Shanshu! Things are continuing with the new structure implemented last time, so read on for details.

How's My Driving?
While each and every character must have an HMD page available, we offer a gamewide HMD once every calendar quarter. This is an opportunity to get together and discuss IC interpretations and portrayals in a respectful, beneficial fashion. In a nutshell, it's a chance to see how we're doing in the grand scheme of things.

There are a few ground rules to cover off before we can start:

• Participation in the quarterly HMD is 100% optional.
  
• Be respectful, anon or not. It's a lot easier to give and receive crit if all parties are making it a discussion of it rather than an argument.
  
• IP logging is off and anonymous commenting is on. You can offer crit signed-in if you like, but the option's there.
  
• New! We ask that each concrit provided consist of one positive and one constructive bit of feedback. Bring up something that you like about that player, and in the same comment provide something that you feel they could work on. This is to help round out the feedback and provide a better experience all around.
  

That's it, that's all!

And, to make things easier, here's a handy-dandy codeset:

<big><b><i>Player Name</i></b></big> <i>Character Name:</i> <i>Canon:</i> <i>User Name:</i> <I>Focus:</i> Optional. Do you have particular concerns about your portrayal that you'd like to be the focus of crit? You can link any threads you'd like a second opinion on here. If you're looking for structural feedback, or would prefer things like grammar not be mentioned, put it here.

Comments

[escarabajo]

Danni
Character Name: Jaime Reyes
Canon: DC Comics
User Name: escarabajo

Character Name: Tony Chu
Canon: Chew
User Name: cibopath

For both of them, I'm kind of worried about not having a distinctive/exciting voice. ;; I feel like I'm under-utilizing the two of them and will be working hard to fix that this month. I also apologize for the speed of my tags lately, I've just joined a second game and am still sort of equalizing how much time I spend both here and there!

[bolthead]

I can't comment much on Tony since I'm not familiar with Chew, but I think Jaime sounds wonderfully Jaime from the few threads I've had with him (and have read elsewhere). He's very casual and teenager-ish and maybe that's not necessarily distinctive (as, say, someone from medieval England) but it is very Jaime and every time I read his threads I smile. Though if you want, I can reread through Blue Beetle this weekend and try and see if I can offer anything more constructive?

As far as under-utilizing go...what exactly do you mean by that? Like plot-wise or just getting them out there or...? :|a

[una_persson]

Karin
Character Name: Una Persson
Canon: Michael Moorcock Multiverse
User Name: una_persson
Focus: Anything you've got about her, tell me. I'm kind of flapping a little bit with her; she has a few fingers in assorted metaplot pies, but I'm pretty sure I could be doing a better job following up on the stuff. And just. Getting her out there in general. Tell me I can stop being pathologically shy and just throw her (and Henry, for that matter) at people.

Character Name: Lord Henry Wotton
Canon: Picture/Confessions/Horrible Life Choices of Dorian Gray
User Name: epigrammatical
Focus: So Henry's been on a steady downward spiral of depression lately and is just about due to hit rock bottom. There are things in the wings to make this happen. Has his descent been reasonably plausible? Is he not funny enough? Is he getting dull? Again, anything you've got, come at me.

General Note: I know I've been a slow thing lately, and also kind of insular, and I do apologise. It's a combination of RL writing obligations and a non-specific RP malaise that is absolutely nobody's fault. I need to get my shit sorted somehow, and I know it.

OH AND: Both of 'em have HMD posts in their journals, and you're welcome to PM me at finalprogramme or contact me on plurk at finalprogramme.

[unetrustworthy]

Hina

Character Name: Midii Une
Canon: Gundam Wing: Episode Zero
User Name: unetrustworthy
Focus: Ideas for branching out into more CR are always welcome. She's the obvious quiet one of my two muses, and prefers to remain watching from the shadows due to a lot of issues and introvertedness. Still, I feel pretty comfortable with her (slowly) advancing development, considering her obscurity, LCW status, & everything else. Her circle is small, but increasingly meaningful, which I can argue a case for quality over quantity I suppose?

Character Name: Zatanna Zatara
Canon: Young Justice
User Name: backwordscompatible
Focus: ...yeah, I got nothing except crazy ideas that people need to stop me from playing out because my poor inbox suffers regularly. Her voice is both loud and strong and it's harder not to tag thing sometimes than it is to just tag all the things with her.

[everylittlegirl]

Re: Midii
I have to say that I really love her character. As someone canon blind, she comes across as incredibly distinct and interesting to interact with. Sylar will continue to bother her, but I'm happy to have Costigan take an interest as well if you're looking for more CR. He has a pretty good way of creating excuses for people to talk to each other.

[asouthron]

Claire
Character Name: Leonard McCoy
Canon: Star Trek AOS
User Name: asouthron
Focus: I'm most concerned with my consistency of his character and his dialogue, but any and all concrit is appreciated. Also, I know very little about medically doctory things LOL but any big discrepancies I've made, please enlighten me! It'll stop me from making them again!

Thank you!

[lookedtothestars]

I've really enjoyed your McCoy since he showed up on the turtle, because dude, tribbles.

You do a pretty good job what I've seen so far of his characterization- it makes complete sense to me that of course McCoy'd end up working with the GL clinic, between how they work and how he works. Of course he'd own up to the tribbles, of course he'd accept the blame and work at trying to help out with the detribbling as well as he could and giving information on what to do about them. And of course he'd sympathize with other turtle-wide screw ups, but still want to work on it to see how to help stop it/help with it if he can.

You do a great job of showing that he's not just Jim's 'fed up to here with all of this' doctor.

I can't think of too much in the way for feedback on how to improve, however, but if I think of something, I'll let you know.

I haven't seen any particularly big 'Claire no' level discrepancies as far as medical stuff goes yet, but if they're big enough that I notice (I'm no member of any medical profession, but my folks were both corpsmen and I grew up reading and poking into various medical type books) I'll give you a holler for them.

[guiltapalooza]

Chel

Character Name: Bruce Banner
Canon: MCU
User Name: angermanaging
Focus: I'm pretty confident on Bruce at this point, but sometimes it's hard to tell how you're doing when you're neck deep in a character, so feedback is always lovely. I'm slowly pushing him in a direction that requires quite a bit of extrapolation from canon, and with the recent canon update I've put a slight hint of Ruffalo into his dialogue, but idk if anyone else is paying attention to changes this subtle. XD If you are, I'm interested in your perception of it! Additionally, I received some effective advice last time about not overthinking my tags so much, and I think I've made progress on that, but input on that is good, too.

Character Name: Willow Rosenberg
Canon: Buffy: the Vampire Slayer
User Name: guiltapalooza
Focus: I'm always pondering how I do on my balance of her character given that her canon point is post-S7. I've played her at various canon points before, and sometimes I get them fuddled up. Otherwise, how's my Buffyspeak doing? Too strong, not enough? I'll be trying to get her more involved in things this month, so hopefully you will soon have more to comment on.

[everylittlegirl]

Overall, I've noticed a distinct reduction in the amount of tldr in Bruce's threads (in general, not so much ours, hahaha), which I know was a point of feedback last time. So congrats on that.

As we've discussed on plurk, I'm really loving watching Bruce's development and seeing how he has grown from canon. You do a really amazing job of maintaining his Bruce-ness while still, perhaps, changing his perception on certain things or advancing his acceptance of certain issues.

I noticed the slight change in dialogue, but honestly didn't realize it was a conscious choice to infuse Ruffalo. Brava for that, though I don't really feel comfortable giving feedback on the voice or its effectiveness. xD


re: Willow
I think the Buffyspeak has been good in my admittedly limited experience. I'd like to see more of her. I feel like she hasn't really developed strong goals/motivation yet, so she seems a little less determined and stubborn than she might normally be in canon, but in a way that makes sense in game; I hope to see that development/change as she becomes more established.

[wonmyfreedom]

Angus
Character Name: Fran
Canon: Final Fantasy XII
User Name: wonmyfreedom
Focus: I have a lot of concerns about the way I've been playing Fran, so I'd really appreciate some crit on how I can improve. Mostly I've been struggling with finding a good balance for her so she isn't too friendly but not too cold, either. I also realize my tagging speed has been an issue, as well as missing tags from time to time, and I'm going to try and improve that as much as I can. BUT YES any and all crit is encouraged and needed. Have at it. <3

[bolthead]

I'm mostly canonblind on Fran, unfortunately, but I do think you have a pretty good balance between being somewhat stoic but not entirely cold from the few clips I've seen and what I know of her. From skimming over your tags it looks like you've also got some introspection and action going on in the brackets, which I think is really great and helps a lot.

Would it help to have some sort of thread tracker or manually review her tags in both the log and network comms periodically to cut down on missing tags? I have the problem of opening up tags at work to do and then forgetting all about them so I end up going through his post and thread tags on the comms each weekend and make sure I didn't accidentally forget something.

I know this isn't really helpful at all but I do want to say that I think you're doing a good job thus far.

Sker | Korra

[alphatar]

Sker
Character Name: Korra
Canon: The Legend of Korra
User Name: alphatar
Focus: All of it tbh. Just be brutal
Additional:

[storm_warning]

The way that you capture Korra's diction will forever make me a happy, gleeful Alex when I read the tags. I think you pay particular attention to how she should react and the words she should use. I never have to think about what character the tag is coming from, because I hear Korra so well in it.

When it comes to feedback, I'd suggest maybe providing a bit more depth to the thread in general. Your tags are pretty solid, but I notice that Korra's attention tends to jump about in threads. Using the thread with her and Ororo as an example, they went from meeting to treasure hunting to Naga digging up a gem to eating the gems all at a relatively fast pace. The impression that I got was that these tags were meant to keep the thread interesting and going, which is good! But, at times, I felt like they could have lingered on an occasional point longer? This could all narrow down to the awkwardness of their first meeting and all, so there's that too.

Also, unrelated and totally out of place on this meme, but I totally want to kidnap you and your Khan for more stuff with Ororo. SHE IS SO CONFUSED ABOUT HIM.

[shorttempered]

Kaitie
Character Name: Mark Grayson
Canon: Invincible
User Name: shorttempered

Character Name: John Colby
Canon: Chew
User Name: fdaterminator


Focus: With Colby, I'm mainly worried about his voice. I worry it comes off too bland. I feel like I have a strong grasp of Mark's voice, but with him (and Colby) I worry that my tags aren't exciting enough or that I don't give enough to work with.

Also, I know I've been slow lately and I apologize.

[escarabajo]

Dude I'm just gonna reassure you that finding voices for Chew characters is hard for whatever reason because I'm in the same boat. But you are doing fantastically for Colby-- he's hit, like, the exact level of douchebag that I would expect from him in canon. DONT WORRY YOURE GREAT.

[bonvivant]

Cass
Character Name: Hannibal Lecter
Canon: Hannibal (TV)
User Name: bonvivant
Focus: Anything! I'm still getting used to playing him although I think I'm getting into the groove of it now.

Character Name: Tarrlok
Canon: Legend of Korra
User Name: disfavored
Focus: Once again, pretty much anything here.

I also have anon-enabled HMDs in both of their journals if you would prefer to comment there!

[encephalicious]

Your Hannibal feels like he stepped out of Bryan Fuller's script. I am amazed and honored to thread with you. Your characterization reads so well to me that it leaves me questioning how I'm doing with Will all the time. I've never looked at a tag from you and raised an eyebrow at it, this includes threads that you've had with him and others.

[dunhaming]

Em

Character Name: The Archive
Canon: The Dresden Files
User Name: constants | permissions | journal hmd
Focus: I was eaten by work this summer so I fell off the boat a lot with activity, especially in this past month! I am going to do my best to correct that. Concerns below!
• How am I doing in terms of keeping her info modding essentially nonexistent? I am trying very hard to keep her knowledge in check as much as possible and would like feedback on how I'm doing on that front! (If at any point you think I'm doing too much on that front, please please do not hesitate to tell me! I would much rather know ASAP than let it go on. I love playing her, but I understand that she is ridiculous on knowledge and this is your fun time too.)
• She's been in the game for a few months now and as such has begun to change some. Is she still recognizably the Archive? Have I made any huge oversights in her growth?

Character Name: Olivia Dunham (alt)
Canon: Fringe
User Name: dunhaming | journal hmd
Focus: My activity with Altlivia has been a little low as well, going to try and do better about tagging out with her, especially once new people start arriving when apps open back up. Concerns below!
• She's a pretty ridiculous person. Too ridiculous? Not ridiculous enough? Just right?
• Any crit in general? It's my first time playing her and not (the other) Olivia, so I'm still adjusting to her a bit.

[everylittlegirl]

I think your Bolivia is perfect, ngl. I hear her voice in every tag (which obv is even more impressive with how Fringe is; she's clearly Bolivia) and I think her personality of being flippant and serious at the same time is extremely well balanced.

Selfishly, I'd like to see more of the Archive, but that's about it.

[definingfuture]

Tea
Character Name: Tony Stark
Canon: Marvel 616
User Name: definingfuture
Focus: Anything really. I strive for balance which can be difficult with Tony, so if you'd like to see more or less of something I'm doing with him, let me know? The usual concerns like canon consistency and just staying on top of things, which can be hard to time right. I'm always open to suggestions and concerns, so hit me if you've got them.

[browbeater]

Raina
Character Name: Mako
Canon: Legend of Korra
User Name: firethepolice
Focus: I don't have a specific focus. If you have anything, let me know sooner rather than later.

Character Name: Balthier
Canon: Final Fantasy XII
User Name: freeskies
Focus: Balthier I feel a bit off with his choice of words. I just don't feel like I'm channelling Gideon Emory hard enough, so second opinions about that would be appreciated.

Note: I recognize that I was not out in the way I wanted to be in September. I had a lot going on in my personal life, so I'd prefer criticisms refrain from poking at that, at least until next HMD. I'm sorry it worked out the way it did.

[wonmyfreedom]

I completely get what you mean about feeling off with the choice of words. I feel like that pretty often, and it can making writing for them tough. Especially since the VAs for both Fran and Balthier have such strong voices for their characters. Something I sometimes do to try and help me get out of that awkward slump is to imagine the dialogue I've typed being read aloud in Fran's voice. If it sounds off, then I just type it over until it feels right. And if that doesn't work, I try reading it aloud (while doing a horrible impersonation of Fran, but that's neither here nor there) and see if that helps me do any better. So maybe something like that could help for you if it feels like a really big issue? :|a

But really, I think you've got Balthier down extremely well. It's easy for me to read your tags and hear his voice, and your introspection for him is really great, too. Tagging with you is an absolute blast, and I'm so so so happy you apped Balthier here. I never expected to get such a great castmate, but here you are and you play Balthier exquisitely. <3 <3 <3

[shotofsherry]

Mae
Character Name: Ai Haibara ( Shiho Miyano )
Canon: Detective Conan
User Name: shotofsherry

Focus: Given how her character is, she isn't the best at socializing or reaching out to talk to people. It is something I have been trying to find a balance for. I'm about to take a long hiatus this weekend until the end of the month due to work, so in the meantime I'm going to aim for a little canon-reviewing. Please let me know if I am doing anything wrong or if there is some place I need to improve in. I also have an anon-enabled HMD on her journal as well!

[lookedtothestars]

July
Character Name:Jor-El
Canon: Man of Steel
User Name: lookedtothestars

Character Name:Bianca Reyes
Canon: DC Comics
User Name: asoothingvoice


Focus: I really fell off the wagon tagspeed wise this last month, and for this month and next I'm going to be focusing on getting my speed/promptness back up to previous levels and try to get tags up and running and back on track within the next couple days.

I'd love all the feedback everyone is willing to give me though, most definitely.

[escarabajo]

I THINK I ALREADY SAID THIS SOMEWHERE???? I FORGET. but.

You have totally given life to Bianca and she feels like she's been pulled right from the comics. I feel like playing someone like her without getting one-dimensional would be difficult but I think you've done a great job portraying mom-bianca versus nurse-bianca versus badass-lady-get-shit-done bianca. <3

ALSO YOUR ACTIVITY IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE. YOU'RE GOLDEN.

[tomemyoutliers]

Ammay
Character Name: Shockwave
Canon: IDW Transformers
User Name: tomemyoutliers
Focus: None, really. I hope that threads are engaging and so on and so forth, so if you find that's not the case please let me know. ANY AND ALL CRIT BEYOND THAT IS MOST WELCOME PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

[bereavements]

Brandon
Character Name: Isaac Lahey
Canon: Teen Wolf
User Name: bereavements
Focus: I think in general I've been trying to find a balance between threading with cast mates and new CR. I want to get Isaac involved in more overarching plots. It was more of a slower month, also, where I spent life in backtag nation. So, I know I do have to have Isaac to say more to people. But, I also feel like I've gotten him out in logs before, especially at the Bacchanal which, I personally loved.

[everylittlegirl]

Unforunately I don't have too much to offer, but I wanted to say that I really appreciate Isaac tagging onto Sylar's stuff and I hope to create CR there. I'm fairly canon blind (I saw the first season and have forgotten most of it), but he's an interesting character and distinct from his TW counterparts.

[imaginate]

Zee
Character Name: Kyle Rayner
Canon: DCU
User Name: imaginate
Focus: Kyle's moving away from canon as he's been in the game for a while, so, is it consistent? Anything else, the floor's open; you can use the journal hmd as well.

[onefouroneseven]

This isn't a remark on Kyle's characterization as it is something that I've noticed with your playing.

I've noticed (and heard) from a few people that a lot of times it seems your tags come across as attempts to direct the thread to one specific end or another. And while this might not be bad if there's an end goal in sight, it's sometimes not an end the other player feels would be IC to get to. That can make for very frustrating tagging, especially if the other person hasn't been contacted or they don't know what you want to get out of the thread in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point, and why I'm not bothering to go anonymous with this. While you're normally very good with communication there have been a few times where I have gotten extremely frustrated with things happening re: Sora's clinic that no one bothered to tell me about, or simply assumed would be okay. And they are, but for something that was in her suite and something she was in charge of, I needed to know. Korra being roped into helping and Bones working at the clinic, for example, to say nothing of Korra and Kyle's fight starting when I went on hiatus and was unable to reply ICly like I would have liked. I don't know if this has been a problem for other people, but it has been for me and I thought I'd bring it up just in case. So perhaps clearer communication in the future about where people stand and not getting too carried away in a thread that things have already happened before you've let other people involved know.

Otherwise I think Kyle's development is natural for where he is, and I don't really have anything to say in regards to that! You're good at him, and I like seeing him around a lot and all the cross canon/medium CR you've managed to build with him.

[doc_holi]

Lina
Character Name: Dr. Rebecca Holiday
Canon: Generator Rex
User Name: doc_holi

Focus: I'm going to go ahead and apologize for all typos and grammatical mistakes right now. I really am sorry and I'm trying to catch them more. Otherwise, I do wish I could get a little faster in RP and more involved with this place/the massive possibilities of CR around here. If you want to repeat some of that or mention anything (ANYTHING) else, then be my guest, by all means.

My personal HMD is here (screened/anon enabled/IP logging off) if you feel more comfortable with that route. It's open at all times, so if you ever have a problem with anything I do, please let me know there or in any other way you like. :) Tl;dr. Thanks!

[everylittlegirl]

I honestly haven't noticed any obscene amount of grammatical errors or anything, so I think you're okay there. In terms of speed: Speed can be beneficial, but I don't think it's the end-all of involvement, if you will. Costigan, for example, is extremely involved in every event, despite that I tend to tag at the pace of molasses half the time! Don't stress your speed. Just continue tagging out onto peoples' posts and trying to plot with them for events. ♥

[wingedwarrior]

Erin
Character Name: Shayera Hol
Canon: Justice League Unlimited
User Name: wingedwarrior → hmd
Focus: pretty much anything. I haven't been as active as I'd like to be, so if you think I need to be out there more with her, just let me know. I feel a little off with Shayera on some cases, too, but I can't quite put my finger on it. if you've seen me doing anything wrong, feel free to say so, or go to her journal hmd.

[myownhand]

Naima
Character Name: Merida
Canon: Brave
User Name: myownhand → HMD
Focus: I have nooot been active at all this month, I am so sorry. Several mitigating circumstances have all collided together into a mess of "Not being able to can" with regards to tagging. And that's on me. I fully intend to get back on the ball this month. So if there's anything I've dropped or you felt that I missed that Merida should not have, please tell me here or feel free to hit up my HMD on her journal. Thanks! ♥♥♥

[eigensinnig]

linda
Character Name: Eren Yeager
Canon: Attack on Titan
User Name: eigensinnig; HMD
Focus: Haaha, I'm still working on getting his voice down, so any crit will be very helpful! It's also why I've been so ridiculously slow with Eren-- my apologies!

Kate → Costigan, Hayley Stark, Sylar

[everylittlegirl]

Kate
Character Name: Billy Costigan
Canon: The Departed
User Name: lostundercover
Focus: Is his magic hate too strong? Is he coming across as a caricature of anxiety/paranoia? Anything other feedback welcome.

Character Name: Hayley Stark
Canon: Hard Candy
User Name: everylittlegirl
Focus: Too flippant versus too serious, etc. Does her CR make sense? Anything other feedback welcome.

Character Name: Sylar
Canon: Heroes
User Name: grayatonement
Focus: Still fairly new and I need to get him out more. Beyond that, any feedback welcome.

[andaway]

First let me say that while I'm super canon blind when it comes to Costigan I miss his threads with Clark and the negative CR they had, and I think having so much CR with Hayley has put that on the backburner. We should fix that, maybe?

Now to crit! I love Hard Candy and I just rewatched it the other day... and I have to say that you have her voice pretty much down, you work in her motivations and personality into every plot and thread she's involved in and the way she's been reacting to everything and everyone on the turtle just has a really nice flow overall, so good going there.

BUT! And this is me going out of my way to find something to crit because I know you like it and you like to improve, I do think you've maybe focused too much on the way Hayley pretends to be, and not on how she really is. I know it's there in brackets, introspection, and it's not like you don't notice if you know what to look for. I'm also aware that in a place like the turtle it would be hard for her to show her true colors and stay anonymous... but it's a huge part of her character.

Maybe try having her manipulate people around a bit more? I'm more than willing to offer both my characters for that if you need it.

[traitre]

doc!
Character Name: qilby!
Canon: wakfu!!
User Name: traitre
Focus: nuttin' in particular.

[saisamour]

Chiqui
Character Name: Marius Pontmercy
Canon: Les Mis
User Name: saisamour
Focus: I know I've been super slow with tags recently; I've just been burnt out on RP in general, but I think I'm getting back into the swing of things. I've also been crit on too much tl;dr introspection with too little description of actions, so definitely working on that too! Aside from that is there anything else I might need to improve on? Marius has just learned that he's survived the barricades, so any change in his demeanor to a more positive, less suicidally-inclined one has been intentional. Am I getting it across well?

Character Name: Leo Valdez
Canon: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
User Name: fotia
Focus: Same thing, re: tags and too much introspection. Also I'm trying to get him more into his House of Hades personality, so I've been looking for ways to make him a little more angry without trying to make it too sudden. How am I doing with it? Also any other crit is also welcome.

[jondrette]

Shea
Character Name: Éponine Thénardier
Canon: Les Misérables
User Name: jondrette
Focus: Uhm uhm uhm, I really don't have anything in particular at this point? Just anything I can do to improve?

[everylittlegirl]

Our actions have been fairly limited, but I wanted to say that I really like your portrayal of Eponine and that her voice is definitely unique and true to what I know of the canon(s).

I'd love to see more of her stubbornness and street savvy nature come to light in future, but I know that she's fairly new and it can be hard to show that without the right circumstances.

So. Keep on keepin' on.