Test Drive Meme | March 2014

[ironwood]

TEST DRIVE MEME - TU SHANSHU EDITION!

Itching to try out writing a character? Then rev up your engines, grab your accounts, and slam your way into this meme! Here is a venue for you to try out whatever character there might be tickling your fancy, from fandom to OC, for as few as one and as many as MANY. Seriously, there's no limit.

How do you partake in this fantastic congregation of character testing? Why, by following these simple steps:

1. Comment with the journal of a character you want to test; put their name and canon in the subject line for added sparkles.
2. Tag around with everyone!
3. Profit like you live on a the back of a turtle!
4. Maybe even reserve so you CAN live on the back of a turtle!

But wait, there's more! For the low, low price of $9,999.99, you can even use one of our handy prompts when you tag someone. You could even pick one with a Random Number Generator to help decide which prompt to go with!

1. A Chance Meeting at the Turtle's Head.
   Remember, being here causes a great sense of-- well, shall we say inner peace.
2. Haggling Over Something in the Marketplace!
   Maybe someone else saw the exact same shiny thing you did at the exact same moment! However shall this be resolved? Remember: blood is extremely hard to scrub off of turtleshell!
3. Have Met Before? Because I Could've Sworn I've Seen You In My Dreams.
   Have you wandered into the realm of Dreaming via an archway in Keeliai? Here, everything is shaped to your character's individual mind. Dreams can be shared between characters and will result in a meshing of minds. These dreams can be positive or negative, depending on your character.
4. Dramatic Chase Sequence!
   You're running away from something! It could be anything, from a rampaging kirin to a gaggle of overly enthusiastic children, or even one of the newest editions to Keeliai's menagerie, an incredibly affectionate turtle the size of a minivan! One way or another, you can't stop, and much like a katamari ball, you feel obligated to grab everyone in your path along the way to keep them out of danger! Or perhaps you're more the sort to try and knock them into it as a distraction...?
5. Spring Fling!
   Apparently the kedan take the "starting anew" aspect of spring very seriously and have started showing their appreciation for flowers and lovely weather by kissing everyone they across! Neither age nor gender seem to play a factor (though the children will instead get kisses atop their heads, because they're not that weird) but you might find yourself liplocked with a random stranger just for walking down the street.
6. WILDCARD!
   Go nuts. Suddenly your character is fighting dragons! Good God, they've found the Millennium Falcon drifting in the ocean! Do you really feel the need to polish every paving stone in the Earth Sector? Please note, Wildcard options are also what you can choose to do if you aren't yet comfortable in the Tu Shanshu setting and would prefer a more 'dear-mun' esque experience. Please specify in your post!

Comments

Have a clone

[unobtainableredemption]

[Kaine spots him a few rooftops away and quickly closes in the distance between them.]

Oh come on, Pa-- [Catches himself.] Spider-Man, really? I thought you learned your lesson the last time.

[He sighs. Looks like he's in for a trip to Bianca's clinic again.]

Great, he can add that to the list of wild cards the multiverse has thrown him :U

[wallcrawler]

"...not...to talk to strangers who run around on rooftops?"

[He has no idea who you are or what's going on, but he's definitely alarmed by what you almost said, sir. Which might explain why he's suddenly adopted a posture that could only be a defensive one, and circles away from the edge of the roof. Just in case this guy was a little less than friendly.]

"Or is that just when one offers you candy? Or am I thinking of a completely different lesson?"

[unobtainableredemption]

[Even before Peter says anything he notices something's off. The web pattern's different, and the lenses in the mask are smaller. Then there's the webbing under the arms that he hasn't seen a Peter Parker use in years. Then the kid opens his mouth and confirms the suspicion that was filling him with dread.

There's two of them.

Kaine rolls his eyes, though it's lost under the full face mask.] There's a clinic nearby. I can take you there.

Did you try to kiss a woodchipper? [Or did Norman Osborn kill you too?]

[wallcrawler]

"No no, my dance partner was just New York's favorite green-tinted psychopath and about a hundred of his pumpkin-headed cronies. Woodchipper's all yours- dangerous machinery's not really my thing."

[End result was probably the same, though. Just with like a 10,000% increase in ill-advised explosions. And way more annoying laughter. Well, presumably, anyway. With the sort of stuff he'd seen the last time he was on this particular turtle cruise, he wasn't willing to rule out sentient woodchippers just yet. Which was sad, really.]

"Clinic's probably not such a good idea, pal. Messes with the whole "secret" identity thing when you have to take off the mask. But hey, if it helps, I'm flattered. Most of the costumed crazies try to kill me, not hook me up with a check-up and a free sucker."

[unobtainableredemption]

[Okay seriously, what is up with child Parker's having to fight that psychopath Osborn? At least his version never had to fight him until college, after he had a few years under his belt.

Not that it did Gwen Stacy any good.] Bianca won't check under your mask. She's apparently used to your kind of idiot where she's from. Unless your costume's a one piece, need I remind you you can just take off your damn shirt?

[...Hang on a second.]

Did you say Osborn had a hundred cronies?! [Did he take over New York first?]

[wallcrawler]

"Well, I didn't really stop to count, but...well, give or take a dozen? Kinda made it a policy to avoid any rooftops with a bunch of heavily armed guys in pumpkin helmets. Made it so I only had to worry about ol' Mean and Green, plus a few airborne henchmen."

[Goblin was, to his credit, an incredibly dedicated evil mastermind. Still a royal jerk though.]

"And I said I'd be fine. I've come back from worse."

[He really hadn't. He was just hoping to sound a little more dangerous than he was, because he still had no idea who he was dealing with. Problem was, Pete was kind of a terrible liar until he learned how to cover up his own unconvincing story with something a little more distracting.

Which uh...really wasn't happening yet.]

[wallcrawler]

"Wait, you know Gobby was Osborn?"

[Great, more timeline headaches. Because he didn't get enough of those before. And now he had to figure out just how this guy knew, anyway. The news, Miles...evil pen pals?]

[unobtainableredemption]

[Rubs at his temple. He was officially getting a headache.] Ugh, not again. I see you're a pain in the ass whatever universe you're in.

[Pulls down his mask. At least compared to the last time he did this to a Peter in this particular costume, his face didn't look like it kissed a woodchipper. Thank you, Anti-Venom formula.]

My face look familiar at all to you, kid?

[wallcrawler]

"...is it supposed to?"

[The wisecracks could be put on hold for a little while, even for Spider-Man. Largely because the last guy that did this went on to boast about how Spidey'd stopped him before, and he really didn't want to interrupt another monologue.

That, and one of the last things he was looking for was "older clone of me"]

[unobtainableredemption]

[Oh for fucks sake.]

Have you looked at any pictures of Richard Parker lately, Peter?

[wallcrawler]

[Well, that earns him a rather abrupt glare, only really noticeable due to a sizable piece of the mask missing over one eye. But it's replaced by something considerably more solemn not long after.]

"...no. I uh...don't really have any."

[...buuuut there's that accusatory glaring again.]

"But now I'd really like to know who you are."

[unobtainableredemption]

[Seriously?]

Okay, how about pictures of Ben when he was younger? Like his marriage picture to Aunt May. Surely the old lady has that somewhere laying around.

[Because he's really not sure how "older, (formerly) deformed, imperfect clone" of you will fly.]

[wallcrawler]

"Not exactly something I went rummaging around for."

[Plus, Uncle Ben was, understandably, sort of a sore subject with him. He had only one picture he ever looked at regularly, and Uncle Ben was definitely older than he was when he married Aunt May.]

"Are you going to tell me who you are, or not? Because whoever you are, believe me, I have got plenty of pent-up frustration I am totally willing to misplace, here."

[And feel bad about later, more than likely.]

[unobtainableredemption]

Don't even try it, Parker. I haven't lost a fight to you yet, and trust me you've tried.

[This is officially more annoying than meeting the first tiny Parker.]

What do you know about cloning?

[wallcrawler]

[That warning's enough to stave off any immediate plans to attack the guy, if only because it meant he'd have to start evaluating him a little differently.]

"Enough to know that unless you grow a wooly coat and start hopping over fences, you're not one of the ones pulled off in my time, lambchop."

[unobtainableredemption]

[Groans.]

Do I look like a fucking sheep to you? I'm you, you goddamn idiot!

[wallcrawler]

[Great, apparently some version of him was also cloned. Hopefully, anyway. He really wanted that particular problem to stay out of his universe.]

"Really? Wow, somebody cared more than they were letting on."

[Hopefully he wasn't the evil kind of clone. No trademark-evil goatee, which was a plus, but the guy certainly seemed a bit more...'on edge' than Pete ever was. Without having the symbiote attached, anyway.]

"Please tell me it wasn't Normy, the guy's messed up my life enough as it is."

[unobtainableredemption]

[He's so done here.]

Of course it was Osborn! Who else hates you that much!?

[Even if... technically it was the Jackal, Osborn still funded the damn thing.]

[wallcrawler]

"...seriously? This is me we're talking about."

[It's a long list. A lot of his little rogues gallery has serious vendetta issues.]

"I mean, Osborn, sure, but he...well, the Osborn I know couldn't have done it. Doc's still on the loose, but since you've got four limbs, it doesn't seem like his style. Rhino's up there, but even dumber than the name implies, Vulture can only tolerate one of me, and Kraven...actually, Kraven did mess around with genetics..."

[Don't mind him, you've just got him curious. And oblivious to the fact that Kraven's little splicing episode was thanks to someone else spoiler: it wasn't Osborn.]

[unobtainableredemption]

The Osborn I know spent a considerable fortune on a madman called the Jackal to make your life a living hell. He got his money's worth.

And... don't talk to me about Kraven. [He can still feel the spear in his chest.]

[wallcrawler]

"So...there's a universe out there where he's still alive?"

[Why does he sound relieved]

"Normy, I mean. None of the other Spiders ever mentioned Kraven biting the big one."

[Or the were-cat thing, but one universal revelation at a time.]

"White Tiger didn't either, but boy, do you two have something in common to growl about."

[unobtainableredemption]

Death doesn't like Norman Osborn, it seems.

[Because really, they were all pretty convinced he was dead before Ben died.]

Sergei Kravinoff blew his brains out years ago after he couldn't defeat you. Then last year his family of psychopaths decided to resurrect him. [With Kaine as the sacrifice.] From what I can gather from his deranged daughter, they succeeded.

And what's this about White Tiger?

[wallcrawler]

"Oookay yeah, I'm sensing some pretty big differences here. Kraven stopped calling himself Kravenoff a while ago, and I'm not even sure if there's a gun made he can operate now. The guy was pretty much a combination of Wolf Man and Lion King, last I checked."

[And some sort of Hollywood cliché, given how often he referred to himself in the third person.]

"Plus, I really don't see him giving up anytime soon. He's still pretty determined to make me his favorite head on the wall. The one White Tiger knows is still human though, and prefers her head over mine. It's sort of a family grudge-match thing."

[unobtainableredemption]

[...Didn't he start this conversation by saying "Don't talk to me about Kraven?" How did this become all about this guy?]

Man-Wolf is someone else.

[wallcrawler]

[When has the webhead ever been good at listening, Kaine? Really :|]

"Great, there's more of those guys running around? Can't I just stick to one genetic experiment trying to kill me?"