"Well, as a sextuple-D, she should get something out of it. Poor dear would always be toppling over." With that, he heads off in the direction of a pub, because if there's one thing a mediocre wizard has, it's an innate sense of direction when it comes to seeking out alcohol. There's a dimly-lit, grimy place to drink away his woes nearby: he's sure of it.

"Maybe wenching is a learned trade. A specialization, if you will, like necromancy or tap-dancing. Perhaps it's like the doctorate of barmaiding."