"But we made it!" She isn't sure what to do with her hands, torn somewhere between wanting to shake him, and wanting to pinch herself. Instead, she clenches her fists, and stares up at him. Would the Fireflies have made a mistake? Was that whole glimmer of hope she had pointless?

"This whole god damned time, for almost six months, I thought we failed... That we didn't make it." She knew explaining was pointless, get over it Ellie. But she wasn't sure what she was expecting, and Joel was the only one who would have understood. "I thought I was dead... You mean that we both might be."

She frowns down at the ground. "We were so fucking close." Her voice cracked for a moment.

She loved it on the turtle.

But the turtle had already taken Joel from her once, made her relive David, and brought back Tess and Sarah. All the friends in the world wouldn't make up for that. The lack of the infection here just made the fact that it still existed back home hurt worse.

She still needed to tell Joel about Sarah.

"Joel... There's something else I gotta tell you."