Test Drive Meme | #35

[ironwood]

TEST DRIVE MEME - TU SHANSHU EDITION!

Itching to try out writing a character? Then rev up your engines, grab your accounts, and slam your way into this meme! Here is a venue for you to try out whatever character there might be tickling your fancy, from fandom to OC, for as few as one and as many as MANY. Seriously, there's no limit. How do you partake in this fantastic congregation of character testing? Why, by following these simple steps: → Comment with the journal of a character you want to test; put their name and canon in the subject line for added sparkles. → Tag around with everyone! → Profit like you live on a the back of a turtle! → Maybe even RESERVE so you CAN live on the back of a turtle! But wait, there's more! For the low, low price of $9,999.99, you can even use one of our handy prompts when you tag someone. You could even pick one with a Random Number Generator to help decide which prompt to go with! Haggling Over Something in the Marketplace! Maybe someone else saw the exact same shiny thing you did at the exact same moment! However shall this be resolved? Remember: blood is extremely hard to scrub off of turtle shell! Dramatic Chase Sequence! You're running away from something! It could be anything, from a rampaging kirin to a gaggle of overly enthusiastic children! One way or another, you can't stop, and much like a katamari ball, you feel obligated to grab everyone in your path along the way to keep them out of danger! Or perhaps you're more the sort to try and knock them into it as a distraction...? Where There's A Will, There's A...? The Life and Dreaming Planes have been merged, and sometimes what starts out as wishful thinking becomes lured into reality. That slick new motorcycle or pile of kingly treasure you were just daydreaming about? Surprise! It's just appeared in front of you. Though, it may only stay for a short while before it disappears again, so make it count. Hopefully you're not the type to daydream about terrible things befalling people you don't like... SECRET UNDERCOVER MODE ACTIVATE! The three major kedan families all have their own agendas, and you've chosen to entangle yourselves with one (or more!) of them. Are you hoping to shift the balance of power? Gain some favours? Perhaps you're on a mission to bring a criminal to justice, or maybe you just want to get the cream of the crop from the black market. Maybe you haven't been hired by them at all, but are using their name for your own goals... as long as no one discovers the lie! Wait... you want my what now?! The kedan are a curious folk, and the Foreigners are entertainment in conveniently arriving packages, especially when they come along with unique items that the kedan might not have seen before. Maybe it's your cellphone... or maybe it's your knickers! How badly do you want to keep your stuff from some overeager native shapeshifters who want to buy, bribe, or burglarize it right off your person? Sea prunes, get your sea prunes right here! Life in Keeliai can take a little getting used to: the chickens have scales, the cows have feathers, and the fruits come in more colour and pattern combinations than your average tye-dye shirt. Not to mention that meal you just ordered from the food vendor? Has arrived on the plate, and you're pretty sure you just saw it move. Everybody needs a little darkness... The Great Enemy may have been defeated over two years ago, and people are even willing to speak Malicant's name aloud now, but there remains a taint in the city never fully purged. Those who consider Malicant a dark god whose end was unjust are the cultists of Keeliai, and they aren't always so easy to identify as one might think. Sometimes their presence is felt in the growing urge to give into one's darker instincts, especially in such a foreign place... Illicit substances, anyone? Every city has its vices, and Keeliai is no different. Perhaps you actively sought it out, or perhaps an opportunistic dealer saw you as a potential customer needing a free sample, but you're now in possession of a packet of Lucid, an emotion-enhancing drug. Interested in finding out what happens when you crush that colourful crystal and ingest it? Incoming! Tu Vishan's latest landfall stop has brought an unwelcome problem to its residents: enormous, toothy creatures who look more like pterosaurs than most people are comfortable with! With a twenty-foot wingspan, these aren't exactly harmless local wildlife, and they have a nasty habit of swooping down on targets both Foreigner and kedan! How are you going to fend them off, or help someone who might have been injured by the latest dive bombing?? WILDCARD! Go nuts. Suddenly your character is fighting dragons! Good God, they've found the Millennium Falcon drifting in the ocean! Do you really feel the need to polish every paving stone in the Earth Sector? Anything goes!

Comments

[androit]

wait... you want my what now?!

I told you, you're not getting it!

[ Although he's got height on the kedan right now, this foreigner probably won't last long holding some kind of solar-powered flashlight/rechargable battery combo away like a game of keep away. Maybe some assistance would be useful. ]

wildcard.

[ There's a new face at the local bakery! Where did he come from? He's quite clearly not kedan but it looks like he's been working here for a while already... oh well, whatever. Whether he's new and good at hiding it or you just didn't notice, it looks like a lot of people have been dropping into this bakery more than usual.

Why don't you check it out too? ]

wait... you want my what now?!

[deathwalk]

[For a while, Wilde just watches the exchange with waning interest.]

[Eventually he takes pity on the human, and approaches, lightly tapping the Kedan on the shoulder with the butt of his shepherd's crook.]

I thought there were laws against theft in most places.

[His poise is relaxed, but his hand is resting on the carved bone hilt of a short sword. He radiates a strong smell of goats.]

[androit]

Theoretically, theft isn't happening. He just wants to "see" it.

[ By the scowl, he does not believe the excuse. Junior is usually easy-going, but paranoid when people show an interest in him. The kedan's insistence in reaching for it doesn't help.

The kedan jumps back and scowls at Wilde, but it also looks like this isn't going to go so well. There's some unhelpful stuttering from the kedan. ]

... uh-huh. Very convincing.

[deathwalk]

[He gives the Kedan an irritated look.]

Ah. My mistake. Shall I let this robbery that theoretically isn't taking place continue then?

[androit]

[ The kedan gives one last attempt at something that sounds like shut up! before he runs off. Junior waits, then slowly lowers the hand that had been saving his lighter. ]

Well... now that that's over. Thanks for the save. Do people here not have a sense of boundaries at all or is it just me?

[deathwalk]

[This earns a shrug from the elf.]

They haven't come near me like that.

[Probably because he smells like particularly pungent goat.]

What is it anyway?

[He gestures to the device.]

[androit]

[ Junior's too polite to mention the stank. It certainly... helps clear the sinuses... ]

This? It's just a chargelight.

[ He holds it out by one end, turns it over and back. Not quite ready to let go of it after that whole thing. ]

Leave it in the sun when you're not on the go, use it as an extra battery when you're busy.

[deathwalk]

It looks like something they'd make in the Tower of Obsidian.

[He gives it one last look-over, before shrugging.]

Is that why the thief was after it? He needed it's power?

[androit]

No idea. I was just trying to top-up my phone.

[ He tilts his head. He wasn't going to say anything about the whole... being an elf... thing... but— ]

Tower of Obsidian?

wait...you want my what now?

[ambibionic]

Maybe you should pick on someone your own size, huh?

[A mechanical hand reaches to grab the kedan's shoulder from behind and slams them backwards onto the ground. The perpetrator looks up at Will and appears to be amused by the situation.]

Why is it that I'm always getting you out of trouble? Big guy like you should be able to get out of scrapes like this no problem.

[androit]

[ It's not even worth saying anything by now. Junior just tilts his head, slowly lowers his hand. He's pleased to see him even if he's not as animated as his friend here. ]

If I did that, then you wouldn't have anything to do. Hi, Felix.

[ambibionic]

Aren't you sweet, thinking about me like that. You know I'd hang around just for those little pastries you make for me.

[He comes over and pulls him into a big friendly hug.]

Heya, Will. I see you're making friends as usual.

[androit]

You're such a glutton. You'll be happy to know I've found equivalent ingredients here for just those muffins.

[ Junior obediently leans forward to return the hug, shaking his head in amusement. Never change, Felix. ]

What is it that draws all the weirdos to me, huh?

[ambibionic]

You are a saint, even if you mock me for my love of your wonderful muffins.

[Don't worry, he's never changing.]

Don't ask me, I'm the normal one here. Maybe it's your face. Or someone tattooed "weirdos welcome" somewhere on your body.

[androit]

They're just pastry. You know I could show you how to make them, up to a point.

[ Good. Junior would hate that; Felix is just right as he is. even if he's a secret-hitman. ]

Is that what you saw on me?

[ambibionic]

Why learn to make them if I can get my best friend the baker to make them at an even higher quality than I could ever dream of doing?

[A secretly flirty awesome hitman, am I right? (yes I'm right)]

Ouch, you wound me in whatever human squishy bits I have left. What I saw was this little runt of a kid getting picked on by bigger kids for being a runt. I set them straight and my parents thought you'd be a good influence on me.

[androit]

Maybe just so you can appreciate my talent even more. Give me some credit once you have the comparison.

[ Don't forget super handsome. Senpai is so cool. Now if only he would notice Junior... ]

Which is now a very debatable sentiment, I'm sure. Either way, you've spoiled me for not having to fight off all the weirdos.

Wild card!

[miraculous_magery]

[A'rho didn't have his face pressed up against the glass or anything. He was a bit above that, thank Thal and his sagging balls. He was eyeballing the display with interest, however. Six months back at the tribe with his brother had left him yearning for the comforts of city life, such as providing his endless fix of baked goods.

And just his luck, he was broke.

Well, maybe he could barter off something. Or maybe...

You didn't live nearly half your life in Ul'dah and not learn a thing or two, after all.

He headed down an alley, produced his grimoire, and summoned forth his topaz Carbuncle. With a simple order, the tiny aetheric manifestation bolted into the bakery, snatched a bag of creampuffs from an alarmed customer, and shot out the door.

Junior, you just got robbed by a magical squirrelcatfox thing. What will you do next?]

[androit]

[ whatthegoddamnfuck

This stupid place and its stupid magic sometimes. Junior thankfully isn't working on anything time-sensitive and sets it aside immediately to go chasing after the thing. ]

Hey! You need to pay for that!! Give it back!

[ He's seen enough weird stuff that the idea of the carbuncle doing it all on its own instead of being ordered to isn't even odd anymore. ]

[miraculous_magery]

[The Carbuncle isn't exactly fast, but it has that weird agility that small animals caught doing something they shouldn't often possess. Just when you think they're in your grasp, they scrabble in another direction.]

[Rho had his arms out to welcome the triumphant return of his Carbuncle.]

[....At least until he noticed Junior in hot pursuit.]

...Aw shite.

He scoops up the tiny little Carbuncle and the bag and makes a mad dash for it!]

[androit]

[ Why him? Why does he have this universal "hit me" sign on his back? Ugh, if only Felix were here... they could maybe catch this.. cat... guy...? out by surrounding him.

At the very least, Junior has the incredible advantage of being like an entire foot taller with longer legs to match. His Sprint skill is 20% more effective. When he gets kind of close, Junior goes for an attempted lunge to grab the guy's collar. ]

Get back here! What is wrong with you?!

[miraculous_magery]

[Rho was small, even as Miqo'te went, and possessed of surprising agility. That wasn't enough to save him from a cybernetically enhanced superhyur though.

He tried to make a dodge of it, but Junior grabbed him fast and yanked him back mid-stride.]


[Rho did what any self-respecting arcanist would do.]

[He threw the Carbuncle in Junior's face]




[There are many Eorzeans who are baffled by how such a tiny creature can act as so effective a distraction in battle. To that, Arcanists often respond 'Well how would you like to have a small, fercoious animal crawling up and down your trousers, mauling every thing it can get its teeth and claws on?']

[androit]

[ The toss of the glowing rat squirrel thing is certainly a good distraction and he lets go of the collar, but unfortunately for A'rho, Junior is possessed of a very good set of involuntary reflexes. He brings his arm up to shield his face and swipes it away rather powerfully before he makes another grab. ]

Just give it back! My creampuffs are good, but not worth all this!

[miraculous_magery]

[The topaz Carbuncle is knocked away quite easily, but it bounces back with a squeak that was feared by vilekin all over Eorzea (though particularly terrifying to the cockroaches in Ran and Rho's old flat). It launched itself back at Junior with the fury of a thousand suns (or at least that of a particularly rabid badger) while Rho thrashed and made a commotion.]

Help! Help! This Hyur is trying to rob me!

[androit]

[ It helps that they only went further into an alley than out into the streets, but before long someone is going to notice and investigate. He holds onto A'rho's collar, but pushes him along the wall and flips him so they can face each other.

Then that stupid rat keeps coming back... He tries something a bit risky, switching his grip enough to turn and fend the carbuncle off until he's got it by the base of its tail and dangling away from him. MAYBE TIME FOR SOME PEACE? MAYBE? ]

First of all, calm down! Shush!

[ Why isn't Felix here? He'd just deck this guy and get it over with. Junior's just too soft. ]

You can't just take peoples' shit like this and expect to get away with it! What do you think is going to happen if we go back to the shop with your would-be savior and ask everyone what happened?